Define 'Tomorrow'

Okay so I may have ballsed it up a bit on my claim I'd immediately follow up my cruising post with one on the various beers that I tried on that particular trip.  Humblest apologies to all three of my readers.

Anyways, I suppose it's that time.

Immediately, I must present perhaps the most important point I have to make.  And that point involves the following:

Mmmm yes.  Glorious.  Yes, it's a beer.  But not just any beer.  That, ladies and...oh who am I kidding; just gentlemen...THAT is a hefeweizen.  That's German for "So good I've lost control of my bodily functions".

For those of you philistines that don't know, a hefeweizen is a German wheat beer, obviously much lighter than its very dark dunkelweizen brethren, and is meant to taste of bananas and cloves, without any addition of either in truth (the taste comes directly from the brewing and fermenting process).  The result is something rather unbelievably delicious for summer.  On a hot day, I can't think of anything quite as refreshing as a good hef.  Move over water!  Yes, even the incredible raspberry ale I reviewed earlier, while excellent, doesn't quite hit on the level of a quality hefeweizen.

So who wins the coveted "Hefeweizen of summer 2011 according to this guy" award?  Well, quite boringly, Longwood once again takes the cake.  I only tried a few this year, including from the brand new brewery in Tofino, aptly named "Tofino Brewing", as well as another from a microbrewery on Granville Island which I cannot quite remember the name of.  And no, Mr. Smartiepants, it's not Granville Island Brewing, as their hefeweizen is little more than a last resort in lieu of having no other hefs to chose from.  And while on the subject, their raspberry ale should be avoided like the plague...that is, unless you enjoy raspberry ales that don't taste of raspberry, have a ghastly pink label and leave you feeling the fool with 5 more undrinkable bottles after you've managed to soldier your way through the first.

Moving on then, because I did try other tasty malts besides just hefs.  And that includes perhaps my most cherished of all beer.  I feel like this needs a loud and raucous introduction.

Yes, Imperial Stouts (Russian or otherwise).  Also yes, that was done in about 2 minutes with MS Paint, and finally yes, that is indeed one of those flaming text generators everyone thought was cool about 150 years ago.  Stouts...are just the best thing.  Not only are they delicious and high in alcoholic content, but they're utterly manly as all hell to boot.  Have one of these, and it'll put some hair on your chest.  Thus the only ladies I can recommend this to are lesbians.



Among them was Old Rasputin, widely accepted to be one of, if not the, best Russian Imperial Stouts available.  With 75 IBUs, 9% alcohol, a look like black honey, and a taste that will cause your cerebral cortex to implode in on itself, it certainly plays its part quite well.  I'd have to try even more stouts to make an accurate judgement, but thus far, yes, it's probably the best stout I've had, easily ahead of several still-great stouts like Howe Sound's Pothole Filler, and absolutely miles ahead of more mainstream stouts like Guinness (*prepares anti-Irish defenses*).








I feel like perhaps this is a good place to end it.  All this talk of the beer types I am most enamored with has given me a...a hunger.  Or perhaps that would be a thirst.  Perhaps more later!