And the Winners Are...

I'd like to apologize for the lateness of this article; my internet went down for a few days, making both working on this article and publishing it a bit tricky.  But...I digress, the show must go on.

That's right folks, it's that time you've all been waiting for.  It's time to announce the winners from this year's Beer in Review, a coveted and prestigious award ceremony exclusive to Beer Cruise.  The Oscars?  The Emmys?  The Grammys?  They wish they could achieve these levels of honours.  Without further adieu, we shall commence.

Best Spring/Summer Seasonal

The nominations:

• Longwood, Framboise
• Mill Street, Lemon Tea Beer
• Howe Sound, King Heffy Imperial Hefeweizen

Come now, did you expect
anything less?

Winner:  Howe Sound, King Heffy Imperial Hefeweizen.  Quite frankly, this was a landslide victory.  As much as I enjoyed the savoury taste of Longwood's Framboise, and the unusual creativity of Mill Street's Lemon Tea Beer, many comparable raspberry ales exist, and creativity alone does not merit victory.  King Heffy is unique, at least in my own personal experience, in being the only imperial hefeweizen available.  High alcohol content and explosive flavour in a still-refreshing summer beer makes for one terrific combination.

Best Fall/Winter Seasonal

The nominations:

• Howe Sound, Pumpkineater Imperial Pumpkin Ale
• Tree Brewing, Jumpin Jack Pumpkin Ale
• Lost Coast, Winterbraun Winter Ale
• Dead Frog, Christmas Beeracle

Turns out California is a haven
for beer lovers as well, not just
illegal immigrants.

Winner:  Lost Coast, Winterbraun Winter Ale.  What we have here is a great selection of seasonals, making this a difficult choice.  In the end, the honours were given over to Lost Coast's take on a winter ale.  Both pumpkin ales here are absolutely outstanding, however Winterbraun takes winter ales to new levels, combining the sweet and smooth tastes of other winter ales with the complexity and richness of a darker beer.  

Best Taste

The nominations:

• Lighthouse, Navigator Dopplebock
• Tree Brewing, Spiced Reserve Ale
• Brooklyn Brewing, Black Chocolate Stout
• Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout

Good lord...it's the good Lord.

Winner:  Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout.  Oh Crannog, why must you be isolated on the mainland.  The Back Hand of God Stout is, in a word, biblical.  While my tasting of it was sadly extremely limited, it left a lasting impression.  And first impressions are crucial in the world of beer; quite often they will tell the whole story.  Repeat visitations to favourite beers might give one a better understanding and appreciation of that beer, but they are not necessary to identify something that is truly special and indeed a God among beer.

Best Aroma

The nominations:

• Howe Sound, Pumpkineater Imperial Pumpkin Ale
• Unibroue, Trois Pistole
• Dead Frog, Mint Chocolate Brown Ale
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout

This is what happens when the
French don't surrender.

Winner:  Unibroue, Trois Pistole.  Like a savage-yet-friendly incursion into the depths of your nasal passages, Unibroue's magnificent dark ale surprises and dazzles.  It's fruity, sharp and sweet, yet full and flavourful.  The kind of smell one could get lost in, which is amazing for one such as me, since aroma tends to be among my most overlooked qualities in a beer.  Truly awesome.

Best Value

The nominations:

• Red Racer, Pumpkin Ale
• Mill Street, Coffee Porter
• Rogue, Mocha Porter
• Vancouver Island Brewing, Hermannator
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout

What brews from the north?

Winner:  Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout.  Truth be told, this one was no contest.  Midnight Sun is an incredible beer, being more flavourful, complex, aromatic and alcoholic than many beers twice its price.  A 6 pack of what I would refer to as Yukon Brewing's flagship beer will run you no more than the cheapest craft beer available.  And that...is damned impressive.

Biggest Surprise

The nominations:

• Lighthouse, Cream Ale
• Lighthouse, Uncharted Belgian IPA
• Unibroue, Trois Pistole
• Tree Brewing, Jumpin Jack Pumpkin Ale
• Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout

One waffer thin pint?

Winner:   Unibroue, Trois Pistole.  Quite the assortment of surprises inhabited the realm of 2011.  Everything from me actually enjoying an IPA, to a stout that redefined what it means to be dark and malty.  But, there can be no question, the biggest surprise came from a source that should not have surprised.  Unibroue is renowned for a reason; they make a hell of a beer.  But what I did not appreciate was just how much of one hell of a beer they can make.  Trois Pistoles was unlike anything I'd had before...and it had been sitting there waiting for me all along.

Biggest Disappointment

The nominations:

• Philips Brewing, Blueberry Pail Ale
• Howe Sound, Father John's Winter Ale
• Wolf Brewing, Woodcutter Dark Lager
• Rogue, Chipotle Ale
• Lighthouse, Winter Ale (not the beer, the fact it was only available in the damned variety pack!)

Son...I am disappoint.

Winner:  Rogue, Chipotle Ale.  Hmmm, Rogue, how does one classify you?  On one hand, they have a very wide selection of beer, most of them quite good...and yet, not one stands out to me as excellent.  They do bitters quite well, only they seem to keep to that standard when venturing outside bitter territory.  Take this Chipotle Ale for example; what a fantastic idea.  The thought of a spicy, southwestern style beer should thrill and excite.  Instead, the actual chipotle flavour is incredibly subtle and restrained, being overwhelmed by a bitter taste that is not particularly interesting.  This is not what I want from a flavoured beer.  And worst of all, it could have been so great.

Best Art

The nominations:

• Lighthouse, Uncharted Belgian IPA
• Russel Brewing, Black Death Porter
• Red Racer, absolutely everything they make

Winner:  Red Racer, absolutely everything they make.  Did you think it would be anything else?  Welcome to Beer Cruise, people.  Here, we ride cruisers and drink beer.  And what we have here is a brewery that recognizes that wonderful combination by depicting a lovely lady riding a cracking good old-school cruiser on the side of their beer cans.  A recipe for success, if I do say so myself.

How could it be anything else?  It's like they envisaged Beer Cruise's birth before me.

Best Cruising Beer

The nominations:

• Vancouver Island Brewing, Hermannator
• Russel Brewing, Black Death Porter
• Lighthouse, Navigator Dopplebock

Hermannated!

Winner:  Vancouver Island Brewing, Hermannator.  Vancouver Island Brewery clearly knows its locals.  We Islanders enjoy the fusion of our cruising and our beer, and any brewery that acknowledges this through the production of a beer that allows both with maximum ease and result shall be rewarded.  And here comes the biggest reward of all:  the inaugural 'Best Cruising Beer' award by Beer Cruise.  Hermannator combines great taste, great value, great alcohol content, and then bottles it in an easy-to-ride-with 355 ml.  Bravo.

Best Cruiser

The nominations:

• Electra Cruiser
• Electra Straight-8
• Nirve Chopper

Rather makes James Dean look like a bit of a dork by contrast.

Winner:  Nirve Chopper.  Wait what?  Not an Electra?  Surely this was a one-horse race.  In truth, no, because when you see it, Nirve's Chopper cruiser will blow your mind.  Sure, I could imagine something like that losing its luster after not too long...but until then, just imagine the looks of admiration and gawking awe you will get.

Best Brewery

The nominations:

• Howe Sound Brewing.
• Unibroue Cambly Quebec.
• Tree Brewing Co.
• Lighthouse Brewing.
• Dead Frog.

Winner:  Howe Sound Brewing.  In a field of strong competition, Howe Sound comes out on top, offering their signature, unique 1 liter bottles, their huge lineup of varied and exciting beer, and some of the most amazing seasonals on the market.  Offering everything from the magnificently refreshing King Heffy to their brutally dark Pothole Filler stout, Howe Sound is the epitome of what one looks for in a creative and dynamic microbrewery.

True masters of the industry.

Best Beer

The nominations are:

• Howe Sound, King Heffy Imperial Hefeweizen.
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout.
• Brooklyn Brewery, Black Chocolate Stout.
• Unibroue, Trois Pistoles.
• Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout.
• Tree Brewing, Jumpin Jack Pumpkin Ale.

Winner:  Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout.  As far as first impressions go, nothing really holds a candle to this savagely dark, impressively malty, deliciously decadent stout.  I'm absolutely choked beyond words that Crannog does not make their beer available on Vancouver Island, and this stout has actually been around for a number of years as it turns out, but these minor faults will not stop me from putting it out there that they have crafted the best beer of 2011.  Well done.

Congratulations Crannog.  Now ship your bloody beer over here right now, damn it.

The Beer In Review 2011

We here at Beer Cruise are dedicated to bringing you, the viewer, only the highest quality of content.  That is why we chose to, on occasion, simply and quite inexplicably fall of the map without reason or warning, in order to avoid the creation of rushed, sub-par content developed as a product of the over-tiredness, over-eating, and over-drinking brought on by the holidays.  This writer does not want to claim that he is noble for these actions...but damned if he can think of a word more suiting.

Bravo...bravo you brave, selfless bastard you.

Ah but you have come for the discussion on beer.  While it is certainly an easy task to segue from the topic of nobility onto that most valiant of beverage, this particular article will not be the usual fare.  No, this week, no one beer will be reviewed; instead, we will review the Year...of Beer.

And what a year 2011 was for me on the beer front.  Some new brews, some malts from the aging vaults, and quite frankly some fail ales as well.  I discovered a lot about myself and what I like in a beer as well.  I've enjoyed beer quite a lot for a number of years now, but in the time since beginning this blog, I have grown from a simple admirer into an unapologetic elitist hipster of the beer world...and I would trade it for nothing.  Well, perhaps for some sort of triple chocolate mocha imperial stout.  Luckily for you lot, no such beverage exists to my knowledge (if you know of a such a beer, please write to me at Ihaveachievednirvana@butyouhaventsucker.com).

Thus I shall present my categories for judgment for 2011.  They are as follows:

So exciting!

Best Spring/Summer Seasonal

I've lumped Spring and Summer together because they are effectively the same season with slightly different temperatures.  If you're a bit of a social dork, and are offended by this statement, kindly leave a comment below, which will be promptly ignored/mocked/modified to make you look even dumber.  The nominations are:

• Longwood, Framboise
• Mill Street, Lemon Tea Beer
• Howe Sound, King Heffy Imperial Hefeweizen

Best Fall/Winter Seasonal

Fall and Winter, while not as shamelessly similar as Spring and Summer, get paired together because many of their individual seasonals work well in the other.  Pumpkin pie is no less delicious at the end of December than it is in October now is it?  The nominations are:

• Howe Sound, Pumpkineater Imperial Pumpkin Ale
• Tree Brewing, Jumpin Jack Pumpkin Ale
• Lost Coast, Winterbraun Winter Ale
• Dead Frog, Christmas Beeracle

Best Taste

This particular category takes into account only taste; aroma and longevitiy are not considered.  This is for the beer that punches you in the face the hardest.  The nominations are:

• Lighthouse, Navigator Dopplebock
• Tree Brewing, Spiced Reserve Ale
• Brooklyn Brewing, Black Chocolate Stout
• Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout

Best Aroma

Smell...perhaps the most underrated of senses.  Quite possibly because of the existence of the fart.  Yes...yes that was a fart joke...right here on Beer Cruise.  Stay tuned folks; it can only heat up from here.  The nominations are:

• Howe Sound, Pumpkineater Imperial Pumpkin Ale
• Unibroue, Trois Pistole
• Dead Frog, Mint Chocolate Brown Ale
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout

Best Value

This is a category I debated having, and ultimately went along with.  It's for the beer that provides the best bang for your buck, taking into account price, quantity, quality and alcoholic content.  The nominations are:

• Red Racer, Pumpkin Ale
• Mill Street, Coffee Porter
• Rogue, Mocha Porter
• Vancouver Island Brewing, Hermannator
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout

Biggest Surprise

Sometimes you let your guard down.  Sometimes you're expecting something tame or average, and then WHAM!  It breaks your goddamn teeth with its savagery.  These beers are excellent examples of such.  The nominations are:

• Lighthouse, Cream Ale
• Lighthouse, Uncharted Belgian IPA
• Unibroue, Trois Pistole
• Tree Brewing, Jumpin Jack Pumpkin Ale
• Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout

Biggest Disappointment

Unfortunately, 2011 was not all sunshine and bunny rabbits.  There were some downsides to it as well.  Perhaps some of these mediocre beers that I expected more of should have been made into a review on Beer Cruise, but quite frankly it's difficult to write passionately about something that wasn't bad enough to be offensive, but was also a major let down.  The nominations are:

• Philips Brewing, Blueberry Pail Ale
• Howe Sound, Father John's Winter Ale
• Wolf Brewing, Woodcutter Dark Lager
• Rogue, Chipotle Ale
• Lighthouse, Winter Ale (not the beer, the fact it was only available in the damned variety pack!)

Best Art

You might not think bottle/can art matters when it comes to the finer points of beer tasting.  You also might think it's a good idea to lick windows while wearing a purple butterfly costume; I really have no idea what crazy people might think.  Regardless, it's here, so you'd best deal with it.  The nominations are:

• Lighthouse, Uncharted Belgian IPA
• Russel Brewing, Black Death Porter
• Red Racer, absolutely everything they make

Best Cruising Beer

Ah, perhaps the most important category of all!  Or was that most irreverent?  I suppose we'll never know.  At any rate....  The nominations are:

• Vancouver Island Brewing, Hermannator
• Russel Brewing, Black Death Porter
• Lighthouse, Navigator Dopplebock

Best Cruiser

Is this relevant to a beer blog?  Do I care?  The nominations are:

• Electra Cruiser
• Electra Straight-8
• Nirve Chopper

Best Brewery

And now we get to some pretty majorly seriousface awards here.  The best brewery of 2011.  For the purposes of this being a brand new blog for 2011, this, as with all other categories, takes into account both new beer and those that have been around for years.  The best brewery cannot merely produce one great beer and call it a day; they have to prove their worth multiple times to me.  Yes me, this is my blog, get over it.  This is a big one folks.  The nominations are:

• Howe Sound Brewing.  The 1 litre bottles, the (often) high alcohol content, the massive variety of beer, the absolute professionalism of the majority of said beers and fantastic new, creative additions make Howe Sound one of the best breweries of 2011.
• Unibroue Cambly Quebec.  While I boarded the Unibroue express a bit late, I've very quickly come to appreciate what Quebec is capable of when it stops trying to form its own magical country-within-a-country for 5 minutes to make some extremely wonderful beer.
• Tree Brewing Co.  While Tree has not garnered the amount of attention from me that it rightly deserves, it has recently made its way onto my radar with some genuinely amazing beers, like their Jumpin Jack and Spiced Reserve Ale.
• Lighthouse Brewing.  I must admit, I'm not the biggest fan of their 'mainstream' line, but Lighthouse sure as hell knows how to make a premium craft beer.  I also love their bottle art, and they gain bonus points for using local artists for such.
• Dead Frog.  The little brewery that attracted the ire of mighty Sleeman's makes my list because they provide great 'regular' beer (355 ml bottles) for each season, as well as a surprisingly large line of very, very creative premium beer that you just do not see from other breweries.

Best Beer

This is the big one.  THE beer of 2011.  What will it be?  Will it be dark?  Will it be light (lol)?  Will it be from this province?  This country?  Observe below.  The nominations are:

• Howe Sound, King Heffy Imperial Hefeweizen.  An absolute monster in a sea of good-yet-limp-wristed hefeweizens, this Imperial take by Howe Sound shatters your illusions of what's possible with a refreshing summer beer.  Can the King be dethroned?
• Yukon Brewing, Midnight Sun Espresso Stout.  What a shock this beer was.  Who expects to find this level of quality in a 355 ml bottle?  This stout is above and beyond what most stouts twice its price can achieve.  Coffee and beer lovers...rejoice and join hands.
• Brooklyn Brewery, Black Chocolate Stout.  Who knew that New York was good for more than just making pizza and providing a nice backdrop for Spiderman to catch bad guys in?  This is one hell of a stout, absolutely savage and unforgettable.
• Unibroue, Trois Pistoles.  Even more surprising than Brooklyn's contribution, it appears Quebec is capable of producing something other than a treasonous separatist party.  Trois Pistoles is a remarkable and unique beer that's both dark and strangely refreshing and crisp at once.
• Crannog, Back Hand of God Stout.  The name.  Oh, that name.  And rightly earned, because while my experience with this beer was sadly extremely limited, it was a memorable one at that, and indeed felt like the Almighty struck me harshly for taking his name in vain so very many times.  Goddammit.
• Tree Brewing, Jumpin Jack Pumpkin Ale.  Just when I thought Howe Sound's Pumpkineater was the absolute cutting edge of autumn brewing technology, Tree comes along to challenge that thought.  While I can't say Jumpin Jack absolutely trumps it, it at the very least matches it without breaking a sweat...and what a feat indeed.

Annnnnnnnnd you'll have to wait for the results while I mull over my decision making process.  

Dear 34th Street: Checkmate

But, my my, I must say Beer Cruise has seen a sudden surge in views.  Thanks go out to any of you who have taken the time to read my silly nonsense, and I have to give a tip of the hat to Vancouver Island Brewery for providing a link on their Facebook page.  Now then...serious mode disengaged; time to get back to irreverent beer reviews.

Oh joy of joys, it's the holiday season yet again.  And what does that mean?  That's right; it means sobriety becomes but a memory of Novembers past.


Truth be told, this time of year is pretty much as good as it gets for incredibly strong, flavourful beers.  The winter ales are out in droves, various stouts and porters receive all manner of twists and general 'amping' up, and best of all, some breweries like to go just a little bit crazy.

Leading the way is Dead Frog.  It should come as no surprise with a name like Dead Frog that ridiculous, off-the-wall beer ideas would be old hat for such a brewery.  Luckily, their efforts are actually quite remarkable, rather than being all show and no play.  A Citra IPA, a Coconut Wit, a (quite sensational) Mint Chocolate Brown Ale, and, perhaps their most playful installment, the Christmas Beeracle.  Instant internet street-credit points for the name.

But a fantastic name alone won't sway the most steadfast of beer drinker.  Beer is for drinking, not just admiring.  Happily, Dead Frog does not disappoint.  The Beeracle is...well it's certainly unique.  It's difficult to compare to other beers, because quite frankly I haven't had anything quite like it.  The easiest thing to liken it to is a gingerbread cookie...melted down, fermented and bottled for your pleasure.  And if that doesn't tempt your palate, well then good sir or madame, you are beyond help.

While this beer lacks the intensity, savagery or complexity of some of the year's best porters, stouts, bocks and IPAs, it more than makes up for these drawbacks with curious and delicious flavour.  It really is a great desert beer.  But best of all, unlike most other desert beers, it's certainly not pigeon-holed into this one role.  The Beeracle works for just about anything; it won't fill you up before delicious Christmas gluttony, it won't leave you wanting for more like many of the more limp-wristed beers, and it will never leave you with a sense of boredom or disappointment.

I can see why stouts, porters and IPAs don't appeal to certain people (I myself do not fancy IPAs).  They are the extremists of the beer world, and while those extremes offer real excitement and variety, they can be off-putting as well.  The Christmas Beeracle, on the other hand, is probably the closest thing we're offered this season as a holiday beer that's all things to all men.

'Tis the season.

Taste:  As previously mentioned, it's like Dead Frog had a vat of molten gingerbread cookie, infused it with a dash of hops, barely and alcohol, bottled it, and put a clever, Christmas-y label on it, which will delight you when you find it under your tree this year.  

Aroma:  If I'm honest, it's a bit disappointing.  It's certainly not indicative of the great flavour.

Aftertaste:  Very little complexity.  The gingerbread flavour fades to a more traditional ale flavour.  It's certainly not bad, but like the aroma, it's not necessarily the selling point of the beer.

Recommended?:  Can you seriously resist its charms?  The baked-goods taste?  The tongue-in-cheek nature of the brewery?  That lovable face, er, label?

Verdict:  Christmas...a time for good will for all mankind.  Alternatively, a time for everyone to drink a copious amount in order to tolerate relatives, crowds, co-workers at office parties, bad weather, idiot drivers and infectiously irritating Christmas carols.  What better way to celebrate this momentous time of year than to crack a bottle of 'Beeracle?  Ho ho ho, Merry Christmalt!

Score:  8 mugs out of 10.

Bockolate Chip

'Tis the season to develop bad eating habits and lose touch with your current fitness level.

So I thought the best thing to do in order to celebrate this momentous time of year would be to drink beer, and make cookies...with beer in them.  Oh yes.  Alcohol always makes the holidays more enjoyable (see:  tolerable).  But wait, what place do cookies have on a beer blog?  Well, first of all, they contain beer, so they are naturally eligible for Beer Cruise treatment.  Secondly, this is my blog...and here, I am god.  Deal with it.  Dot jpg.

How does one go about reviewing a batch of cookies in a manner similar to that of a beer at any rate?  Well, exactly the same, to be frank.  Let's discuss, shall we?  The cookies in question were birthed from a recipe posted on Vancouver Island Brewery's Facebook page.

...I think you can see where this is going.

Yes, these are indeed Hermannator cookies.  Delicious chocolaty treats infused with ice bock containing 9.5% alcohol?  Sign me up.  Seeing as how I am less than incompetent in the kitchen, and able to (usually) cook or bake without setting fire to myself or others, they turned out quite well.  Perhaps not perfect, but I will review them as such at any rate.

First thing's first (as if it could be second); these are not the easiest cookies to make.  The actual beer portion involves simmering 2 bottles of Hermmanator and brown sugar until it becomes a very thick syrup.  This is something of a long, smelly and messy process.  You also have to have the utmost care in not burning the syrup once it thickens, which is very easy to do.  Even once you've mixed it all together, the batter is not entirely like other cookie batters; it's extremely thick and crumbly, which might cause you to question your culinary methods. Worry not, however, because it ultimately works out in the end if you've made it this far.

But I digress, I'm not here to give instructions on baking; I'm here to give my opinion on beer infused cookies.  In short?  They're pretty darn good.  Perhaps not with an overwhelming beer flavour that you may expect or hope for, but that molasses-like maltiness is certainly there.  It's very much like a regular chocolate chip cookie, only with a special party piece.

In terms of aroma, it's a bit of a mixed bag.  On one hand, that smell of molasses mixed with chocolate can be quite nice, while on the other hand, even the slightest whiff of burned sections is less than pleasant.  And you will get burned segments, if only small bits, unless you're Gordon Ramsey.

All-in-all, however, these cookies are fairly delicious.  I'm not entirely convinced they're worth all the fuss, mess and effort involved, but perhaps with some refinement (or more experienced baking prowess), the process could be made more efficient.  It's a fun little endeavour to attempt, one way or the other.

Taste:  Chocolate, malt, molasses...need I go on?  If you dislike any of these things, may I first suggest you are on the wrong bloody blog, and may I next suggest you remove your tongue from your mouth for it has betrayed you.

Aroma:  As previously stated, it's a bit of a toss-up.  You've got some lovely chocolate and malt aromatics going on, but even small bits of burned syrup smell sort of awful.

Aftertaste:  There's little to report in terms of complexity.  The chocolate ends up overpowering the malt in the end, but it's still a slightly unusual flavour for a cookie that, in the end, does linger quite nicely.

Recommended?:  If someone offers you one?  Yes, absolutely.  If you're thinking of baking a batch, just be warned that they're a bit of a pain in the arse.

Verdict:  Get Hermannated all over again this holiday season.  I think this would be a great idea for group beer tastings, or even as a form of baked good gifting to fellow beer connoisseurs.  Hell, you don't even have to enjoy beer to like these nuggets of goodness.  Frankly, I'm not entirely sure if they're entirely worth the effort beyond making a single batch for kicks, but let's be serious here; these are chocolate chip cookies with beer in them.  What the hell do you think I think of them?

Score:  8 bites out of 10.

I Now Pronounce You Beer and Coffee

There are two beverages that the civilized world acknowledges as supreme above all else.  The first is, without question, beer.  This arcane liquid has been with us for many thousands of years, evolving from a primitive form that fueled ancient Egyptian labour forces during the construction of the pyramids, into a tonic of complexity in this modern era of microbrewery creativity.  The second is undoubtedly coffee.  With a history nearly as rich as that of beer, and a flavour to match, coffee has been known as 'black gold' by some.

Both these substances have complex and varied flavours.  Both offer wondrous mind-and-body-altering effects. Both come in a variety of shades of darkness and intensities.  Both are for connoisseurs.  Both have been raped by trashy mainstream corporations that sell poor products to philistines.



So what happens when the planets align, and these two beverages...become one?  Something quite magical.

Such is the case with Midnight Sun, a (so far as I know) new beer from a brewery I have only just discovered; Yukon Brewing.  What this beer is is an Espresso Stout.  Now, pick yourself up off the floor and read on.  The pairing is not exactly unusual, as any good stout should draw some parallels to coffee.  However, it's the intensity in that coffee taste where Midnight Sun *ahem*...rises above the competition.

The result is something that combines the best of both worlds for the learned pub-goer, and the cerebral artist-at-heart enjoying a lazy afternoon at the local coffee house.  An odd, yet welcome, combination of mental stimulation and muscle relaxation.

And that is just the metaphysical sensations.  What your senses actually experience is a whole other story.  Immediately, the aroma will take you by surprise.  As with any good coffee, you'll probably end up enjoying the wafting aromatic flavours as much as the liquid itself.  Luckily, the taste is no slouch.  Even by the standards of a big stout enthusiast, which I am, Midnight Sun hits all the right buttons.  It's not remotely lazy, cheap or boring, all of which is somewhat surprising for an emerging brewery that has released this in a standard priced 6 pack format.  Yes, you can get an extremely high quality espresso stout in 355 ml bottles for a reasonable price.  Pick yourself up off the floor again; you're embarrassing yourself, alright?

Ball = Midnight Sun.  Face = your face.

Taste:  A terrific fusion of strong coffee and strong beer.  I feel like a slightly higher alcohol content (weighing in currently at 6.5%) could contribute to a more impactful effect, but it's still nonetheless a great stout.

Aroma:  Bam.  You want a more thorough explanation?  Brew up a fresh pot of coffee, make sure it's nice and hot, then smash the carafe over your head.

Aftertaste:  One of the greatest things about this beer is that there is absolutely zero unfavourable aftertastes.  Even in some of my favourite beers, there have been just hints of something unpleasant.  Not so here.

Recommended?:  That's a big 10-4.

Verdict:  Yukon Brewing...you are officially on my radar.  What an incredible (and ballsy) beer to kick off with.  Yes, they have a red ale (or amber or something) available as well, but the point is this is a serious beer for serious beer snobs that demand a serious ass-kicking.  And that...is bloody commendable.

Score:  9.5 mugs out of 10.  Yeah yeah, it's another outrageously high score, but you know what? Just 

Viva la Unibroue

Yep...that's a cork.

I had a difficult time trying to really classify this next beer, and fabricating my thoughts on it into mortal words.  Having a brainwave, I then solved this dilemma by putting on my comfy headphones, visiting Digitally Imported, streaming some rather nice chillout music, and reexamining what is perhaps the most startling, and indeed one of the very best, of the many beers I've had this year.

This beer hails from Quebec's Unibroue Chambly brewery.  Yes, the French have made it onto my beer blog a second time, and indeed this one is excellent as well.  Apparently lightning can strike the same place twice.  The beer in question is Trois Pistoles, and is, in fact, the first beer from this brewery that I've tried.  Yes, I do believe that was the sound of several dozen beer connoisseurs extending their bottle openers, fully intent on gouging my eyes out with their collective bluntness.  If that wasn't bad enough, my second sin is that I knew very little of Unibroue besides that they were from Quebec.  I'd always passed on their beer because of the wine-esque look of their bottles, and the somehow pretentious looking labels, as opposed to many of the tongue-in-cheek goofy labels on most microbrew beers.  What a mistake that was, and one that is being rectified.

Truth is, this is not just a great beer, it's one of the greats.  And how wonderful was it that my expectations were reasonably high, if not exactly immense, yet were shattered all the same?  I love being surprised by beer, and Trois Pistoles did exactly that.  For what it is (a mild dark ale) it's about as close to perfection as I can see anything coming.  It smashes homerun performance on all fronts; taste, aroma, aftertaste, hell, even value (6 bucks for a 750 ml bottle of 9% excellence?  Sign me up!).

If there was a complaint to be had about the beer, it does hearken back to that small comment about pretentiousness.  This beer is pretty much exactly that.  Excellent as it is, don't expect people to give you anything but weird looks and snickers (no not the chocolate kind) when you pull out a bottle of beer with a cork in it, then proceed to explain the subtle nuances of the complex taste, the proper serving temperature, and explain the backstory behind the label art and name.  True, those elements exist for all beer, but somehow it seems much more serious and urgent with this line of beer.  This is something for the true connoisseur, and should not be exposed to mainstreamers for fear of mockery (albeit mockery from mainstream dummies is not worth much to the discerning mind) and/or the possibility of making the craft beer world appear intimidating to those attempting to break out of the mainstream.

BUT, I digress, these 'issues' have nothing to do with the quality of the beer; they are social stigmas.  If you're looking for an incredible beer, look no further.  If you're looking for something to bring to a party or impress the women folk, this is perhaps not the best option, but you could certainly find a middle ground between David Attenborough and Justin Bieber.  If you can't figure out who represents what...well just what are you doing on my blog?

Well done Quebec.  I take back at least 40% of the bad things I've said about you.

And no, this is not a good beer to cruise with.

Taste:  Not what you'd expect from an extremely dark beer, but my god is it good.  Slightly fruity and sweet, incredibly smooth, not harsh in the slightest, yet very strong and hearty; certainly a terrific choice for the coming cold weather.

Aroma:  Wow.  Believe me when I say this is, without a doubt, one of the most aromatic beers I've ever come in contact with.  Like the taste, you can detect fruity, sweet notes, and it has a whiff of port to it.

Aftertaste:  Complex and nigh-on everlasting.  It's ridiculous how long the flavour lingers, and how it never wears out its welcome.  Just great.

Recommended?:  Yes, but shut the curtains, lock the doors and don't let anyone see you.  This is a beer for you.

Verdict:  Unibroue has made something amazing, which will probably come as no huge surprise to any fan of the brewery, as they've got a reputation as outstanding as Molson's lack of integrity.  Don't forgo this beer because of its seemingly pretentious nature; it's...incredible.

Score:  10 mugs out of 10.  And quite honestly, I was half-tempted to pull that great big journalistic no-no and give this an 11 out of 10.

You Are Hermannated!

Seasonals sure are swell, aren't they?  They give breweries a green light to do all sorts of crazy nonsense that they wouldn't otherwise try.  And as it turns out, Vancouver Island Brewery is no stranger to crazy nonsense.

Ah the Hermannator, an old favourite.  Yes, I will freely admit that this beer is not new to me; I've actually been looking forward to its glorious and triumphant return in order to review it.  And lo and behold it has done as much.  I swiftly responded by purchasing not one, but two cases of the magical brew.  Unlike our friend Ah-nold, I can self-Hermannate.

The Hermannator is an ice bock, a very flavourful variant on VIB's regularly produced Herman's Dark Lager (hence the name, in case you spent one too many semesters in that remedial class of yours).  It's somewhat similar to Lighthouse's Navigator, but has its own flair.  And if that wasn't enough, it's even more powerful, coming in at a staggering 9.5%.  9.5%!  This is a beer that comes in 355 ml bottles!  It's a tad more expensive than your usual 6 bottle case, but the price of admission is more than worth it.  Since this is a seasonal, if you value this sort of intense flavour and savage alcoholic content, I would highly recommend stockpiling.  Kind of like a bear preparing for hibernation, only you'll be preparing for many winter nights being kept warm by Christmas cheer and a blood-alcohol level far exceeding 0.08.

But the most important question of all drifts ominously above our collective heads; how does this bock function as a cruising chap's beer of choice?  Well, quite frankly, it does so perfectly.  It is, in fact, probably one of the best cruising beers available.  Why?  Let me count the ways.  First, it's available in the convenient 355 ml format, making transportation much more convenient than the larger, premium beers.  Second, it's a bock, a dark lager, so the temperature should be just right by the time you decide to crack it.  Third...well, it's the elephant in the room; the alcohol content.  There's no point in drinking a weak and pathetic beer on a beer cruise, so it's only fitting that this beer boasts the power of two lesser malt beverages packed into the same size of bottle.  And that, friends, is a recipe for many happy cruises.

I must admit that I find myself at a bit of an impasse giving yet another glowing review.  True, I had anticipated giving as much to the Hermannator, since it's a repeat customer in the realm of my mouth, but I've come to realize that I've yet to review a bad beer, and only a handful have received lukewarm receptions.  Believe me when I say that the bad beer is out there, but also believe me when I say I find it harder to be passionate in writing a review for a beer that either bores me or disgusts me, rather than a beer I find surprising, unique or outright amazing.  I think a bad beer review is something that needs to happen, but the beer in question will have to be bad, and I'm not talking about reviewing mainstream schlock either; that would be cheating.  I would love to hear suggestions on what bad beers to try, whether they be breweries as a whole or perhaps a bad apple from a good tree (warning: not to be mistaken as a stab at Tree Brewing).

Well well well, without further adieu...

Taste:  A proper wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, much like Lighthouse's dopplebock, but I find it to be slightly less intense, though sharper and somehow more acidic.  And then there's that alcohol content...

Aroma:  Eclipsed by the flavour, the aroma is not a huge selling point.  

Aftertaste:  Tapers off more quickly than a stout or porter, but still leaves a nice near-burning sensation afterwards.

Recommended?:  Yes.

Verdict:  The Hermannator is a classic.  It embodies the greatness of seasonal beer while being extremely good value.  It's the crown jewel of Vancouver Island Brewery, which is a touch sad, as it's only available for such a relatively short period of time.

Score:  9 mugs out of 10.